Some people are reserved. Some people are not. Some people are in between. Me, I like being the center of attention. I often say I am a misanthrope because if I'm injected into a social situation where I am not the center of attention, I tend to remove myself. But if eyes are on me, boy do I love to be at the center. Mmm, mmm, mmm. :)
Along those lines, I am thus not one who keeps things reserved. Bottling up never lasts long and I just need to get things out so I can keep moving. Being ill for a couple weeks sucks. Being ill while one's wife is on a business trip sucks more. I think I subsisted on corn Chex, chicken strips, and cough drops. It also left me a lot of time to dwell in my own thoughts. When my brain is too taxed fighting germs that I cannot even muster the energy to write, mustering the strength to persevere is equally impossible. It's easy to get in a self-defeatist frame of mind when one is sick.
But hey, I'm not sick any more! Well, my cough hasn't gone away, but otherwise I'm better. I'm writing again, and writing things that don't suck. And I'm hopeful for the future again. I still have all the same insecurities I had a few days ago, but I have the wherewithal to look past those to my next manuscript.
Keep that in mind. It's okay to have fears. It's even okay to talk about your fears (but don't do it too often). In the end, if you're going to make it, you move past all that. Otherwise you're defeated before you even begin.
Cheers to you, friends. Thanks for letting me vent.